Ayie
Marrying Your Opposite
(insight)

Two individuals who are very different from each other
can either be supremely happy together,
or they can be miserable together.

Application:

1. Understand that what you so admired in your husband or wife may be the very quality to which you must adjust.

2. You will either compete with each other or complement each other.Follow these four guidelines a daily discipline to help you find the middle ground of common interests.

  • Guideline 1: Respect each other's differences. There can be no real love apart from respect. When you really love someone, you are willing to accept the fact that different people operate differently. While there can be lots of differences in a relationship, there has to be a core of respect that can't be violated.
  • Guideline 2: Talk about it. Free and open communication is a must for a successful marriage. When taking the kids and climbing Mt. Makiling is more than you can take, say so without attacking the other person. There has to be a solution that keeps you both happy.
  • Guideline 3: Compromise. Marriage is not a competition, but an ongoing dialogue. Someone said that marriage consists of one "I do" followed by a lot of "uh huhs".
  • Guideline 4: Submit your differences to higher Court of Appeals. Make Christ the head of your home. Pray together. Ask the Lord for His help and direction in solving the conflict that come because you are different from each other. Yes, two people can be very different and yet very happy.

This is the 2nd part of the book about making marriage work by Harold Sala. For those who are in a relationship and those who are married, this might be helpful to keep your connection tight with your partner. As you read through the post, take time to reflect and assess yourself. Feel free to express your views about this article. To read the 1st part, Recipe in Marriage you may click the link or check on the label Relationships and Marriage.
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52 Responses
  1. ladyviral Says:

    Wow, and I am about to get married too. This is one good tip for me. Thanks so much!


  2. levian Says:

    marriage or merely relationship,
    these points are indeed useful.
    i guess i could summarized these points into
    "both working hard achieving the same aim"? :)


  3. Tekkaus Says:

    I am going to get married too. haha :D Yupe! Toleration is really important without it, a couple couldn't really go thrugh. ANyway good tips. :D


  4. foongpc Says:

    Wow! Ayie you are now a marriage counsellor? : )


  5. Mei Teng Says:

    Marriage is not a bed of roses. Requires hard work from both parties to make it a successful one.


  6. Ayie Says:

    Hi Ladyviral, were you able to read the first part? All in all there are 52 guidelines, I'm just taking my time posting. I hope this will help you understand things concerning marriage and any relationship. Goodluck on your upcoming big event! Congratulations!


  7. Ayie Says:

    Hi Levian, thanks for sharing that summary. Both need to accept each other's flaws...not only the good stuffs and it involves a lot of work doing that. =)


  8. Ayie Says:

    Hi Tekkaus, it's a good book that's why I want to share it to everybody. 50 more tips to post, keep tuned in. Thanks!


  9. Ayie Says:

    Hi Foong, I can give advices to those who are preparing to get married but I don't think I'll qualify to be a marriage counselor just yet. Only been married for 2 years, many more years to count before I reach that counseling point. =) Looks like the youngsters here are soon to tie the knot...are you in the run too?


  10. Ayie Says:

    Hi Mei, well said! Exactly, not a bed of roses. Trials come here and there, both need to work on it to overcome the storm. Hmmm, 2 earlier birds are getting hitched soon...how about you Mei? Will you be sailing the ship too? Hehe sorry I'm too nosy!


  11. betchai Says:

    these applies not only to marriage but in all our relationships, we do need to communicate, to respect each other's views, to make compromise, and to embrace and accept the differences, opening our hearts to these and allowing God to guide us, we may find out that marriage actually does not really have to be "thorny" to be considered normal. however, a lot of the times, it is our stubbornness that makes relationships having a very rough ride :) thanks for sharing these really good points Ayie.


  12. It takes a lot of hard work to keep a marriage going on and on and on.....
    I've been married for 19 years. :)


  13. lina Says:

    definitely needs a lot of give and take and compromise for a marriage to survive all the trials and tribulations in life.

    I still have 9 more years to go to be married as long as ECL. :D


  14. Ayie Says:

    Hi Betchai, I completely agree too! Those trials makes a relationship stronger so long as you sail out of the waves together. I don't believe that there's such thing as perfect relationship. Everybody gets to face their deals and troubles. Thanks for sharing!


  15. Ayie Says:

    Wow ECL, so how old are you now? kidding! That's a good number, I still have to count many years before i even reach 5. And I agree,it's hardwork. Tnx ECL!


  16. Ayie Says:

    Hi Lina, patience & understanding is a must prior to those compromises. It's nice to hear views from all of you! I hope I can turn to you ladies for some advices. =) Thanks!


  17. Luna Says:

    Hello dear Ayie,
    Many thanks for your kind visits and comments to my blog. Now mommy will go back to read your very interesting post in detail!
    Purrs from Brazil


  18. Hi Ayie,
    i don't need those guidelines as i'm happily married for 14 years now. :D

    relationships may encounter problems but it takes two to compromise.


  19. sorry Ayie, i actually haven't finish commenting. my internet connection was disconnected all of a sudden.:(

    despite all the obstacles that we had encountered, we are very much attached and we are thankful to have 3 healthy and crazy kids who bring us so much happiness. happy weekend. :)


  20. fufu Says:

    totally agree with you... to live better, trustworthiness is very important also... i am still not willing to settle down, but i do know all these =p


  21. LimPek Says:

    dunno why i always be the loser in relationship


  22. foongpc Says:

    Me? haha! I'm not ready to settle down yet. And I dun wanna get tied down at the moment.

    Btw, I've got an award for you : )


  23. Ayie Says:

    Hi Luna! You're welcome and thank you also and to mommy Leia for your continuous visit here. I'm happy that you like my posts here. I love your site too Luna, most esp when you make all your poems! =)

    Have a good day!


  24. Ayie Says:

    HI Ramblings! Thanks for sharing your great and happy marriage. It takes two to tango, right? Not every couple succeeds through their trials and some stick to their vows and work things out. I'm so happy for you and your family!

    Have a good day/night!


  25. Ayie Says:

    Hi Fufu, agree agree! Well I guess there's really no rush in settling down with guys (mostly). Being the traveler fufu, it will be hard to leave wife and kids whenever you're off somewhere... =)


  26. Ayie Says:

    Hi Lim Pek, welcome to my blog! Thanks for your visit. Loser in what way? Relationships are not a win-lose situation, at some point either one gets hurt but don't take it as being a loser. Remember, there's a light in every failure. =)


  27. Ayie Says:

    Haha Foong, living the bachelor life! There's no rush in marriage anyway. =)

    Thanks for the award, I'll check it out later. =)

    Have a good day!


  28. levian Says:

    agreed.
    the good stuff are easy,
    but the bad stuff, that is where the challenge come. :)


  29. Ayie Says:

    Hi Lavian! Trials test both of you, no relationship will always be on bliss.


  30. ladyviral Says:

    Oh first part? Nope.. :/ only saw this one. But yes will do so once I get the chance! Thank you for the wishes... Going through stress now with family. Does all pre-marriage discussion goes the same? :x

    Oh I came by to let you know, you got Award from me for being my blog's top ten commenters.


  31. Bengbeng Says:

    Passion doesn't last forever. After kids, grandkids etc life slows down. So it is important our mate is also our best fren. Some one we will wake up when we are seventy yrs old n still findsleeping beside us on the bed. A choice not to be taken lightly :)


  32. Ayie Says:

    Ladyviral, hmmm I think I can help you with that. I suggest you email me so we can discuss things more private about your matter. That is only if you wish to open up =)

    Wow, another award...I just got one from foong. Thanks!!


  33. Ayie Says:

    Hi Bengbeng, that's very good sharing that. I believe in what you said. It's not all about passion, for me I call it togetherness. Both of you enjoying together no matter what. Thanks!


  34. Carver Says:

    Interesting post. Thanks for you visit to my blogs.


  35. yeah, it takes two to tango. Marriage is between 2 ppl and it will only tear apart if either one give up.


  36. btw, congrats for being my FC today. thank you for your continuous visit and support. :)


  37. Good afternoon to you and happy Tuesday.


  38. levian Says:

    n if a relationship breaks off unable to overcome a challenge,
    i guess it is proven to be not strong enough. :)


  39. betchai Says:

    Hi Ayie, just would like to thank you for showering our new group site with your warm comments, truly appreciate it. Hope you have a good week.


  40. Mummy Gwen Says:

    Hi Ayie ganda, Wah..you did yr homework on Marriage huh..hehe..I bet you have a very good and caring husband. :)


  41. Ayie Says:

    Hi Carver, thank you also. I'm following your blog under my blog readings. =)


  42. Ayie Says:

    Hi Ramblings, so sweet of you. I was surprised to see your ww post when I checked on your blog. I love your contents that's why I keep coming back =) Now that I'm enjoying blogging, I always look forward everyday to give even a little time to work on my blogs and blog hop too. Migrating to a foreign land is hard, I'm just glad to meet new people who are my blogger friends. =)

    Happy Tuesday!! Goodnight to you!


  43. Ayie Says:

    You made a good point there Levian!


  44. Ayie Says:

    Hi Betchai, no prob. I like that blog too. Imagine, a collaboration of pinay bloggers! I'd like to support your good cause too. You'll see me around there every now and then too =)


  45. Ayie Says:

    Hi Mummy sexy, that homework was supposed to be done long long time ago. hehe, only now I'm really taking the chance to do it. Yes, indeed with my husband hehe but he's a big baby too! tnx


  46. ladyviral Says:

    email you? Well, you will have to give me your email add :p. or maybe msn? Hmm... how to pass out email and msn id in private? :x


  47. it's flattering to hear that u enjoyed my posts. i'm deeply touched.

    i know what u mean Ayie. moving to foreign land is not an easy task. but then, most asians have made a comfortable place for themselves there.


  48. Ayie Says:

    Ladyviral, it's jifdesigncreations@YAHOO.com =D I thought you'll get it from my profile page, it's there when you click email. That's a private email don't worry.


  49. Ayie Says:

    Ramblings, I get what you're saying. So many Asians and hispanics here and my hubs' relatives are also scattered here. =)


  50. Ayie Says:

    Ladyviral, it's jifdesigncreations@yahoo.com

    sorry about tha caps, typo error =)


  51. ladyviral Says:

    hahah... hi there no worries, haven't been writing my email recently.. will do so soon :). Thank you for the hand!

    Oh I was so blur lol, I missed the links to your recipe to marriage at the bottom. sorry sorry lol and that is how you can tell I also didn't manage to get your email from your profile @.@ bleh~


  52. Ayie Says:

    haha, that's ok ladyviral...no worries about it


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